Have you ever
eaten something so much that the sight, smell or thought of it purely disgusts
you? I have a few such stories about things I have eaten that now disgust me to
the point that even the thought of them makes me cringe. Below I will list some
of my favorites and I will also include a story of why I can’t eat at Taco Bell
just for the pure enjoyment of making a few of you throw up.
The first thing
that I remember eating so constantly that I can no longer stand is Stouffers
Stuffing. I would eat Stouffers instant stuffing everyday after school before I
went to practice. This lasted for about 4 months and one day I finished up a
can of stuffing and that was it, I couldn’t eat anymore of it and asked my mom
not to buy it anymore. I can still eat stuffing it just cant be Stouffers
instant stuffing because that stuff really makes me gag just thinking about it
now.
My family’s
favorite story though is that of the Ham and Cheese Hot Pockets. For about a
year I would eat a Ham and Cheese Hot Pocket everyday, I literally mean
everyday and I loved them (that’s a mess of Hot Pockets). Then one day it was
all over. There was a 50 pack from Costco in the freezer and I had eaten only a
couple Hot Pockets out of it. I am not 100% sure on what exactly happened but
one day I came home from school and went to get a Hot Pocket and I started to
throw up in my mouth. My body was telling me to reject that vile
afternoon snack and eat literally anything else. My mind, my stomach my colon
were all telling me that my body was willing to die before consuming one more bite
of a Ham and Cheese Hot Pocket. There was nothing I could do but let the pack
of Hot Pockets sit in the freezer until months later they were eventually
thrown out disappointed that I was never going to return and eat their high fat
vileness. Since that day I have never eaten a Hot Pocket of any kind.
Now this story
is just to see if I can make a few of you feel sick. I tell it much better in
person but nonetheless I still believe a few of you will gag as I detail a trip
to Taco Bell that resulted disaster. Now I know most of you will think that the
disaster happened in the bathroom after eating Taco Bell but unfortunately this
disaster occurred long before the greasy goodness of Taco Bell created a slip n
slide in my colon.
I was in Vail
Colorado on my way from one job to another and I needed something fast and
delicious. As I came around the corner Taco Bell was calling my name and told
me that I needed a Beefy Cheesy Burrito. The decision was made. As I drove away
and unwrapped my delectable treat my mouth was salivating and I took a
gargantuan bite eating nearly 1/3 of the burrito. As I pulled the burrito away
from my mouth the cheese was stringing between my mouth to the burrito just
like the commercials. The unfortunate part I soon discovered was that it was
not cheese stringing between my mouth and the burrito, it was a huge clump of
long thick hair. Not just a single hair, a huge handful of hair. I was on the
freeway by this point driving nearly 80 mph. As I struggled to get the hair and
burrito out of my mouth gaging uncontrollably I swerved from lane to lane. I
got my window rolled down and proceeded to throw up and toss all of the taco
bell “fixings” out of it. This event has left me traumatized towards Taco Bell
and even writing the description above led me to gag a bit. (I was in my office
when I wrote this so a couple of coworkers asked me if I was ok)
As my friend
Shante would tell me my life is full of first world problems. But I guess that
is life according to me.
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