A quick trip to Havasupai for a couple of days. It really is an amazing spot in the middle of the Arizona desert.
Monday, August 27, 2012
Monday, August 6, 2012
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Dawn Patrol
There are a couple of reasons why I will get up before noon. 1 is money and the other is to have a good session of water skiing.
http://vimeo.com/44850474
http://vimeo.com/44850474
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
To Much of a Good Thing
Have you ever
eaten something so much that the sight, smell or thought of it purely disgusts
you? I have a few such stories about things I have eaten that now disgust me to
the point that even the thought of them makes me cringe. Below I will list some
of my favorites and I will also include a story of why I can’t eat at Taco Bell
just for the pure enjoyment of making a few of you throw up.
The first thing
that I remember eating so constantly that I can no longer stand is Stouffers
Stuffing. I would eat Stouffers instant stuffing everyday after school before I
went to practice. This lasted for about 4 months and one day I finished up a
can of stuffing and that was it, I couldn’t eat anymore of it and asked my mom
not to buy it anymore. I can still eat stuffing it just cant be Stouffers
instant stuffing because that stuff really makes me gag just thinking about it
now.
My family’s
favorite story though is that of the Ham and Cheese Hot Pockets. For about a
year I would eat a Ham and Cheese Hot Pocket everyday, I literally mean
everyday and I loved them (that’s a mess of Hot Pockets). Then one day it was
all over. There was a 50 pack from Costco in the freezer and I had eaten only a
couple Hot Pockets out of it. I am not 100% sure on what exactly happened but
one day I came home from school and went to get a Hot Pocket and I started to
throw up in my mouth. My body was telling me to reject that vile
afternoon snack and eat literally anything else. My mind, my stomach my colon
were all telling me that my body was willing to die before consuming one more bite
of a Ham and Cheese Hot Pocket. There was nothing I could do but let the pack
of Hot Pockets sit in the freezer until months later they were eventually
thrown out disappointed that I was never going to return and eat their high fat
vileness. Since that day I have never eaten a Hot Pocket of any kind.
Now this story
is just to see if I can make a few of you feel sick. I tell it much better in
person but nonetheless I still believe a few of you will gag as I detail a trip
to Taco Bell that resulted disaster. Now I know most of you will think that the
disaster happened in the bathroom after eating Taco Bell but unfortunately this
disaster occurred long before the greasy goodness of Taco Bell created a slip n
slide in my colon.
I was in Vail
Colorado on my way from one job to another and I needed something fast and
delicious. As I came around the corner Taco Bell was calling my name and told
me that I needed a Beefy Cheesy Burrito. The decision was made. As I drove away
and unwrapped my delectable treat my mouth was salivating and I took a
gargantuan bite eating nearly 1/3 of the burrito. As I pulled the burrito away
from my mouth the cheese was stringing between my mouth to the burrito just
like the commercials. The unfortunate part I soon discovered was that it was
not cheese stringing between my mouth and the burrito, it was a huge clump of
long thick hair. Not just a single hair, a huge handful of hair. I was on the
freeway by this point driving nearly 80 mph. As I struggled to get the hair and
burrito out of my mouth gaging uncontrollably I swerved from lane to lane. I
got my window rolled down and proceeded to throw up and toss all of the taco
bell “fixings” out of it. This event has left me traumatized towards Taco Bell
and even writing the description above led me to gag a bit. (I was in my office
when I wrote this so a couple of coworkers asked me if I was ok)
As my friend
Shante would tell me my life is full of first world problems. But I guess that
is life according to me.
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Your Brother and Your Mom's Brother?
The
other day some friends and I were discussing polygamy, we are from Utah, and we
started talking about how it would work and what you would call people who were
related to you in more than one way. It was at this point that I decided to
make an incest list so that no one has to wonder what to call their family members
who have multiple relational titles. This may not be a problem for people in
other states but for me it is embarrassing when someone introduces their wife
to me but I also happen to know that she is also his sister.
Multi-Relational Titles
-
Bruncle (Brother-Uncle)
-
Brusband (Brother-Husband)
-
Moster (Mom-Sister)
-
Saunt (Sister-Aunt)
-
Broad (Brother-Dad)
-
Waunt (Wife-Aunt)
-
Graunt (Grandma-Aunt)
-
Huncle (Husband-Uncle)
-
Duncle (Dad-Uncle)
-
Gruncle (Grandpa-Uncle)
-
Wister (Wife-Sister)
-
Wom (Wife-Mom)
-
Wiece (Wife-Niece)
-
Wifma (Wife-Granma)
-
Husbad (Husband-Dad)
-
Husphew (Husband-Nephew)
-
Granband (Grandpa-Husband)
-
Brophew (Brother-Nephew)
-
Brondpa (Brother-Grandpa)
-
Smom (Sister-Mom)
This
is by no means a complete list of multi-relation names so I would greatly
appreciate any input you have on better or new insestual titles. At least for
now though the next time you see your brother who also happens to be your mom’s
brother you don’t have to have that awkward moment of how to address your
bruncle.
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Which came first the Wiener or the Wiener?
Have you ever wondered the origins of slang terms? The other day I was talking with my friend and we discussed the origin of the term wiener for hot dogs and whether or not the slang term for man junk came before or after the introduction of the cow beef wiener. There are two possible conclusions, either the all beef wiener came first or the slang term for the all man wiener came first. My initial thought was that a bunch of immature men (really any men) had been calling their twig and berries a wiener and decided to make a food that had a similar shape and would feed it to people and sit back and laugh while the duped individuals enjoyed the moist and tasty treat. The other idea was that the all beef cow wiener came first and that due to its unfortunate shape the term wiener became a slang term for the male naughty part. While I like the idea of the first story I decided to do a little research and find out more about the term wiener.
First off be careful what you Google. The Germans have been eating sausage wieners for years it appears which seems to make a lot of sense, you know because Germans love David Hasselhoff and wieners. German Americans introduced us to wienerwurst which is German for Vienna Sausage (also a slang term for ill-sized dude junk). The term hot dog originally appeared in the Oxford English dictionary in 1900 and cow beef wieners were popularly sold at Coney Island. In the 1920’s wiener roasts were very popular as people would roast the juicy specialty meat over an open fire. This is the end to my extensive search on wiki answers and I wasn't able to find any information on the slang term wiener and its origins.
While I like to think that immature men were the genius mind behind the off colored American treat there doesn’t seem to be any evidence at all to support my theory. On the side of my theory though there doesn’t seem to be any data showing when the slang term wiener first came into use which is exactly what the individuals who first decided to make a dingy shaped food would want, no evidence. While the facts show that the most likely scenario is that the all beef wiener came first and that the slang term for the tally whacker came second I still keep hope that evidence will surface and make the true naughty nature of the All American treat known to all.
First off be careful what you Google. The Germans have been eating sausage wieners for years it appears which seems to make a lot of sense, you know because Germans love David Hasselhoff and wieners. German Americans introduced us to wienerwurst which is German for Vienna Sausage (also a slang term for ill-sized dude junk). The term hot dog originally appeared in the Oxford English dictionary in 1900 and cow beef wieners were popularly sold at Coney Island. In the 1920’s wiener roasts were very popular as people would roast the juicy specialty meat over an open fire. This is the end to my extensive search on wiki answers and I wasn't able to find any information on the slang term wiener and its origins.
While I like to think that immature men were the genius mind behind the off colored American treat there doesn’t seem to be any evidence at all to support my theory. On the side of my theory though there doesn’t seem to be any data showing when the slang term wiener first came into use which is exactly what the individuals who first decided to make a dingy shaped food would want, no evidence. While the facts show that the most likely scenario is that the all beef wiener came first and that the slang term for the tally whacker came second I still keep hope that evidence will surface and make the true naughty nature of the All American treat known to all.
Monday, May 28, 2012
Service Dan Style
Friday, May 25, 2012
Planning?
Planning
is not what I would call a strong suit of mine. I don’t know when my lack of
planning started but I have a feeling that I was just born that way, mostly
because I can’t remember a specific time when I did a lot of planning.
My
earliest memories of being a “nonplanner” come from grade school…….middle
school…………… and high school (I had a little trouble launching). Often I would
come to my mom at about 11pm the night before a major project/assignment was
due. Instead of letting me fall flat turning in a half assed project or the
more likely scenario nothing at all I was helped a little bit. Ok so I was
forced to fall asleep sitting in a chair while my loving mother would produce
me an A project that over and over again I would take full credit for and go on
to graduate high school with ………graduate high school.
My
disregard for planning wasn’t limited to school projects even though they
proved to make me my most frequent offender. Other examples would include a scouting
trip (no comments on me being a scout) where I was left in charge to plan a
multi day camping trip. Everything went off without a hitch until we got to our
camp site after dark and the question was asked, “Where are all the flashlights
and lanterns?” I think you can imagine the answer.
A couple
of years ago I went to Lake Powell with some friends. Now I don’t love sandals
of any sort but when at Lake Powell and planning
to go on a hike it might be important to bring some sort of foot device that
one could get wet and hike in. I suppose DC skate shoes could fit this
description but after hiking, swimming, and wading through deep mud in some I wouldn’t
recommend it.
I am
often late to work even though my house and work aren’t getting farther apart.
I don’t spend a lot of time (any at all) thinking about the future. I don’t get
my oil changed till its 500 miles overdo. There isn’t a lot I do in life or
think about doing until I have to or until after I needed to. When it comes
down to it I like living in the here and now even though it doesn’t work out
well for me a lot of the time. I’m proof that you don’t have to plan and can
easily be average.
Monday, May 21, 2012
Being A Kid
Getting
older usually means more responsibility higher stress and less time to have
carefree moments. Having more responsibility doesn’t mean that I’m not happy in
fact it is usually the opposite because responsibility brings the satisfaction
of achievement when goals are met. That being said I think it is important to
take time for some care free moments with people you love. To have an effective
care free moment it is important to participate in an activity of some sort
that originally took place at a care free time in your life. I’m talking about
something that doesn’t cost a penny and will most likely result in trash
talking that reminds one of grade school. Here is an acceptable list of care
free activities (according to me):
Dodge
Ball
Wall
Ball
Tag
(Under Dog Style of Course)
Red
Rover
Kick
Ball
Any
Activity Participated in on a Trampoline
Feel
free to modify this list but keep in mind this list includes no adult leisure
time activities and I feel that this is what makes these activities so perfect.
The
other night some friends and I got together and played kick ball in a backyard.
You can guess what happened; rules were amended mid game, arguments about
whether or not someone was out arose, the score differed depending on which
team you asked and my personal favorite after catching a fly ball I was chased
down and kicked by a girl. (I think she was flirting with me)
The
result of this game was a couple of hours that were only focused on the task at
hand and a swassy mess involving anyone who didn’t dress in athletic apparel
just like grade school recess (skinny jeans and exercise do not mix). I was
lucky enough to be on the winning team which meant that the rest of the night I
was one of the idolized hero’s to all those who participated. At least I think
everyone idolized me, I did kick a gnarly home run in the first inning.
Life
is meant to be enjoyed and when the monotony of responsibility sets in it is
important to stop and enjoy a care free moment here and there.
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