Monday, August 27, 2012

Good Times with Good Friends at Havasupai

A quick trip to Havasupai for a couple of days. It really is an amazing spot in the middle of the Arizona desert.



Havasupia 2012 GoPro HD Hero 2 from Dan Hansen on Vimeo.

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Dawn Patrol

There are a couple of reasons why I will get up before noon. 1 is money and the other is to have a good session of water skiing. 

http://vimeo.com/44850474

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

To Much of a Good Thing


   Have you ever eaten something so much that the sight, smell or thought of it purely disgusts you? I have a few such stories about things I have eaten that now disgust me to the point that even the thought of them makes me cringe. Below I will list some of my favorites and I will also include a story of why I can’t eat at Taco Bell just for the pure enjoyment of making a few of you throw up.

   The first thing that I remember eating so constantly that I can no longer stand is Stouffers Stuffing. I would eat Stouffers instant stuffing everyday after school before I went to practice. This lasted for about 4 months and one day I finished up a can of stuffing and that was it, I couldn’t eat anymore of it and asked my mom not to buy it anymore. I can still eat stuffing it just cant be Stouffers instant stuffing because that stuff really makes me gag just thinking about it now.   

   My family’s favorite story though is that of the Ham and Cheese Hot Pockets. For about a year I would eat a Ham and Cheese Hot Pocket everyday, I literally mean everyday and I loved them (that’s a mess of Hot Pockets). Then one day it was all over. There was a 50 pack from Costco in the freezer and I had eaten only a couple Hot Pockets out of it. I am not 100% sure on what exactly happened but one day I came home from school and went to get a Hot Pocket and I started to throw up in my mouth. My body was telling me to reject that vile afternoon snack and eat literally anything else. My mind, my stomach my colon were all telling me that my body was willing to die before consuming one more bite of a Ham and Cheese Hot Pocket. There was nothing I could do but let the pack of Hot Pockets sit in the freezer until months later they were eventually thrown out disappointed that I was never going to return and eat their high fat vileness. Since that day I have never eaten a Hot Pocket of any kind. 

   Now this story is just to see if I can make a few of you feel sick. I tell it much better in person but nonetheless I still believe a few of you will gag as I detail a trip to Taco Bell that resulted disaster. Now I know most of you will think that the disaster happened in the bathroom after eating Taco Bell but unfortunately this disaster occurred long before the greasy goodness of Taco Bell created a slip n slide in my colon.

   I was in Vail Colorado on my way from one job to another and I needed something fast and delicious. As I came around the corner Taco Bell was calling my name and told me that I needed a Beefy Cheesy Burrito. The decision was made. As I drove away and unwrapped my delectable treat my mouth was salivating and I took a gargantuan bite eating nearly 1/3 of the burrito. As I pulled the burrito away from my mouth the cheese was stringing between my mouth to the burrito just like the commercials. The unfortunate part I soon discovered was that it was not cheese stringing between my mouth and the burrito, it was a huge clump of long thick hair. Not just a single hair, a huge handful of hair. I was on the freeway by this point driving nearly 80 mph. As I struggled to get the hair and burrito out of my mouth gaging uncontrollably I swerved from lane to lane. I got my window rolled down and proceeded to throw up and toss all of the taco bell “fixings” out of it. This event has left me traumatized towards Taco Bell and even writing the description above led me to gag a bit. (I was in my office when I wrote this so a couple of coworkers asked me if I was ok)

   As my friend Shante would tell me my life is full of first world problems. But I guess that is life according to me.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Your Brother and Your Mom's Brother?


The other day some friends and I were discussing polygamy, we are from Utah, and we started talking about how it would work and what you would call people who were related to you in more than one way. It was at this point that I decided to make an incest list so that no one has to wonder what to call their family members who have multiple relational titles. This may not be a problem for people in other states but for me it is embarrassing when someone introduces their wife to me but I also happen to know that she is also his sister.   

Multi-Relational Titles
-          Bruncle (Brother-Uncle)
-          Brusband (Brother-Husband)
-          Moster (Mom-Sister)
-          Saunt (Sister-Aunt)
-          Broad (Brother-Dad)
-          Waunt (Wife-Aunt)
-          Graunt (Grandma-Aunt)
-          Huncle (Husband-Uncle)
-          Duncle (Dad-Uncle)
-          Gruncle (Grandpa-Uncle)
-          Wister (Wife-Sister)
-          Wom (Wife-Mom)
-          Wiece (Wife-Niece)
-          Wifma (Wife-Granma)
-          Husbad (Husband-Dad)
-          Husphew (Husband-Nephew)
-          Granband (Grandpa-Husband)
-          Brophew (Brother-Nephew)
-          Brondpa (Brother-Grandpa)
-          Smom (Sister-Mom)

This is by no means a complete list of multi-relation names so I would greatly appreciate any input you have on better or new insestual titles. At least for now though the next time you see your brother who also happens to be your mom’s brother you don’t have to have that awkward moment of how to address your bruncle. 

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Which came first the Wiener or the Wiener?

Have you ever wondered the origins of slang terms? The other day I was talking with my friend and we discussed the origin of the term wiener for hot dogs and whether or not the slang term for man junk came before or after the introduction of the cow beef wiener. There are two possible conclusions, either the all beef wiener came first or the slang term for the all man wiener came first. My initial thought was that a bunch of immature men (really any men) had been calling their twig and berries a wiener and decided to make a food that had a similar shape and would feed it to people and sit back and laugh while the duped individuals enjoyed the moist and tasty treat. The other idea was that the all beef cow wiener came first and that due to its unfortunate shape the term wiener became a slang term for the male naughty part. While I like the idea of the first story I decided to do a little research and find out more about the term wiener.

First off be careful what you Google. The Germans have been eating sausage wieners for years it appears which seems to make a lot of sense, you know because Germans love David Hasselhoff and wieners. German Americans introduced us to wienerwurst which is German for Vienna Sausage (also a slang term for ill-sized dude junk). The term hot dog originally appeared in the Oxford English dictionary in 1900 and cow beef wieners were popularly sold at Coney Island. In the 1920’s wiener roasts were very popular as people would roast the juicy specialty meat over an open fire. This is the end to my extensive search on wiki answers and I wasn't able to find any information on the slang term wiener and its origins.

 While I like to think that immature men were the genius mind behind the off colored American treat there doesn’t seem to be any evidence at all to support my theory. On the side of my theory though there doesn’t seem to be any data showing when the slang term wiener first came into use which is exactly what the individuals who first decided to make a dingy shaped food would want, no evidence. While the facts show that the most likely scenario is that the all beef wiener came first and that the slang term for the tally whacker came second I still keep hope that evidence will surface and make the true naughty nature of the All American treat known to all.

Monday, May 28, 2012

Service Dan Style

This is the type of service/experience you can expect when you are lucky enough to get me as your waiter.

Friday, May 25, 2012

Planning?


Planning is not what I would call a strong suit of mine. I don’t know when my lack of planning started but I have a feeling that I was just born that way, mostly because I can’t remember a specific time when I did a lot of planning.

My earliest memories of being a “nonplanner” come from grade school…….middle school…………… and high school (I had a little trouble launching). Often I would come to my mom at about 11pm the night before a major project/assignment was due. Instead of letting me fall flat turning in a half assed project or the more likely scenario nothing at all I was helped a little bit. Ok so I was forced to fall asleep sitting in a chair while my loving mother would produce me an A project that over and over again I would take full credit for and go on to graduate high school with ………graduate high school.

My disregard for planning wasn’t limited to school projects even though they proved to make me my most frequent offender. Other examples would include a scouting trip (no comments on me being a scout) where I was left in charge to plan a multi day camping trip. Everything went off without a hitch until we got to our camp site after dark and the question was asked, “Where are all the flashlights and lanterns?” I think you can imagine the answer.

A couple of years ago I went to Lake Powell with some friends. Now I don’t love sandals of any sort but when at Lake Powell and planning to go on a hike it might be important to bring some sort of foot device that one could get wet and hike in. I suppose DC skate shoes could fit this description but after hiking, swimming, and wading through deep mud in some I wouldn’t recommend it.

I am often late to work even though my house and work aren’t getting farther apart. I don’t spend a lot of time (any at all) thinking about the future. I don’t get my oil changed till its 500 miles overdo. There isn’t a lot I do in life or think about doing until I have to or until after I needed to. When it comes down to it I like living in the here and now even though it doesn’t work out well for me a lot of the time. I’m proof that you don’t have to plan and can easily be average.  

Monday, May 21, 2012

Being A Kid


Getting older usually means more responsibility higher stress and less time to have carefree moments. Having more responsibility doesn’t mean that I’m not happy in fact it is usually the opposite because responsibility brings the satisfaction of achievement when goals are met. That being said I think it is important to take time for some care free moments with people you love. To have an effective care free moment it is important to participate in an activity of some sort that originally took place at a care free time in your life. I’m talking about something that doesn’t cost a penny and will most likely result in trash talking that reminds one of grade school. Here is an acceptable list of care free activities (according to me):

Dodge Ball
Wall Ball
Tag (Under Dog Style of Course)
Red Rover
Kick Ball
Any Activity Participated in on a Trampoline

Feel free to modify this list but keep in mind this list includes no adult leisure time activities and I feel that this is what makes these activities so perfect.

The other night some friends and I got together and played kick ball in a backyard. You can guess what happened; rules were amended mid game, arguments about whether or not someone was out arose, the score differed depending on which team you asked and my personal favorite after catching a fly ball I was chased down and kicked by a girl. (I think she was flirting with me)

The result of this game was a couple of hours that were only focused on the task at hand and a swassy mess involving anyone who didn’t dress in athletic apparel just like grade school recess (skinny jeans and exercise do not mix). I was lucky enough to be on the winning team which meant that the rest of the night I was one of the idolized hero’s to all those who participated. At least I think everyone idolized me, I did kick a gnarly home run in the first inning.

Life is meant to be enjoyed and when the monotony of responsibility sets in it is important to stop and enjoy a care free moment here and there.