Recently I have been viewing a plethora of subpar and terrible movies. I know that you are thinking, Dan that is your own fault, but it really isn’t. You see my family has recently switched from a satellite provider back to a cable provider and with that comes 6 months of free HBO for my viewing pleasure. Since I only have 6 months of free HBO I feel that I need to stick it to the man by cramming in as many free movies each day as humanly possible. It hasn’t been easy, my grades have been falling because I no longer have time to study or to do homework, and my social life is almost dead because some of the best movies are on in the evening time. You see it really isn’t my fault, I can’t help myself. It’s like when you are staying in a hotel for just one night and they have free movie channels, what are you going to do? That’s right you’re going to watch yourself a free movie!
I will say though by watching so many free movies, many of which are the same movie I have already seen several times, I have noticed things, like when a director didn’t take time to think about small details. A perfect example is in the movie “I love you Beth Cooper.” In one scene there is a car with 3 girls in it that is driving crazy (much like any teenage girl would drive) on their way to a geek’s house for a graduation party. At one point this car drives across some curbs and over a lawn, leaving the audience with a front on view through the cars windshield. It is only for a brief moment that you can gaze into the car but in that moment you can see 3 men wearing wigs. I swear the driver who is wearing a cheap looking blonde wig even has a beard. I feel myself noticing these details sometimes on only the 2nd or 3rd time I see a movie now. I am becoming a movie critic with the eye of an eagle. So I would like to thank Comcast for my Free HBO because even though I’m going to fail a class or two and don’t have any friends left I now have a new calling in life, I am going to review the subpar and terrible movies of the world and let people know just how poorly made they really are.
